i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
