i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
