i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
