Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
