I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
