I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
