Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
