Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
