Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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