Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
