No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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