He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
