it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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