I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Randomize
