turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
