Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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