I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
