did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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