I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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