no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
