Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
