take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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