I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
