i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think your dad took our porno
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
