every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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