hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
