We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
