eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
