WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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