I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Be still, my beating vagina.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
