The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
