is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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