I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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