Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
