I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
