i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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