so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
