We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
