so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need a beard to bite.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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