I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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