this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Im part way to drunk.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
