I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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