Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
