"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
