its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
