Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
