I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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