I'm going to jail i love you
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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