i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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