Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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